Marriages / Unions – The Dances Of Life…!
Of late, the subject of “Relationships” has taken the forefront of conscious focus. In this life that I have been living for over 50 years, I have experienced both joy and sadness in relationships. The joys call to an experiential fulfillment and the sadness, vice versa. My take on “fulfillment” has greatly changed over the years. Increasingly, I find that my experience is more subject to what I AM expressing/creating than anything else. While being sensitive to others may lead to vastly diversified experiences overall, my own living impetus is the deciding factor with respect to my baseline experience. Because this is so, my outlook or perspective is the key.
Perspective means to look through something. Perhaps one might say that it’s seeing beyond that something. In fact, that is very interesting because people have often thought that they had to dissect everything carefully in order to see it clearly. But, in fact, seeing something “clearly” means seeing beyond that something…! The true seeing of things actually reveals the “Being” of that something. When One sees beyond or through something, not being focused on the thing itself, one begins to observe and experience the essence of that something as it pertains to the “Whole.”
The title of this blog post is, “Marriages / Unions - The Dances Of Life…!” How does this “perspective” subject matter fit into this? It’s simple, really. The truth of “perspective” can lend itself to expansive or non-exclusive thinking, with respect to relationships. As One begins to look at one’s relationship with all people as non-exclusive, more can be shared and greater richness experienced. Again, it has to do with One’s “perspective.” It doesn’t mean that a person needs to have more than one intimate partner, but it also doesn’t mean that a person must only be intimate with one person…nor that a person needs to go around coveting others.
I had a chat today with a man whom I respect and appreciate very much. This man has formed the largest online-based ministry in the world. We talked about many things. The word ‘adultery’ was one of the topics. Interestingly enough, according to my friend–whose knowledge of word origins I happen to trust–the meaning of the word adultery as used in the “Old Testament” had absolutely nothing to do with sex. Adultery meant, ‘to twist, darken and belittle something’. Webster’s definition of this word is directed completely to a sexual connotation. Needless to say, the definition of the word ‘adultery’ itself has been adulterated!
Many of man’s laws and rules have been put into place as a result of a lack of “perspective.” God’s rules are simple and loving. God directs people to be loving, giving, and caring – and NOT to be possessive and controlling! If One’s desire is to serve God, One continually and lovingly sets everyone free. The living process of relationships is a dance. There are many forms of dance – but all of the forms can offer an air of rhythm and beauty. I love watching old Greek men dancing together and the women too! There are many, many forms of dance. Some include partnership with one, some with many, and some are offered solo. Let each One do their dance and let US support the uniqueness and beauty of their expression!
These are the thoughts that are moving through me. I invite you to click on‘comments’ and share your thoughts and experiences on this subject.
June 28th, 2009 at 6:00 pm
When I was a child, we played a game called “Musical Chairs.” While music was played, the children would walk around a circle of chairs and as soon as the music stopped, each child would sit down on the nearest chair. The trick was that there was always one chair less than the number of children in the game. It was fun to play, but I so remember being very intent to never be far from a chair, lest I be the one who was ‘out.’
The game comes to mind because in the consciousness that has been prevalent in the Western world up to now—this is the only culture with which I have experience—many adults have operated as children playing this game. There has been a concern to ‘have/possess’ a partner, be it a spouse, significant other, or close friend. The idea has been that one didn’t ever want to be alone or ‘left out’ and in fact, the social life in our society has focused on couples or singles’ groups—seldom do they overlap. I have fallen under some of that old thinking in times past, but would like to suggest a different perspective that has been emerging in my experience Now.
The two great commandments hold the key: Love of God and Love of Neighbor. If the first relationship is not firmly in place, nothing else works well. If we do not have a deep love relationship with our creator, the One of whom we are a part and in whom All are actually included, how could we ever have a creative relationship with anyone else? Our open hearts need to always attune with what is larger and greater than “little me” and in that process is the discovery that, “The Father and I are One.”
With the foundation in place, then clearly we are meant to engage with other people, but not necessarily along the lines of the ‘defined’ relationships society has come up with. Human views have often lacked the largeness of the Creator’s perspective and therefore have tended to be narrow and defined—‘I love my family, my church community, my circle of friends etc.—we have functioned under the illusion that it is our choice as to whom we extend love. However, as you point out, God calls us to be of a large and generous Spirit, loving, giving and caring towards All our fellows who cross our life’s path—whom could we exclude?
The records that have come down to us about Jesus show a man who interacted with a wide range of people, always in a caring way and as a representative of his Father’s love. Are we called to anything less? Why not leave aside definitions and attempts at ordering Life and simply let Life flow, revealing patterns of relationship in creative motion. Because Life’s character is to care for all, I suspect that some relationships will be of shorter duration while others, for example the raising of children, will be over time. But the main consideration is that Spirit lives in the present moment, not in linear time, so following the pulsations of Spirit will reveal how relationships are to take form, transform, complete or extend, all according to a higher pattern than we alone can envision. Having learned how absolutely dependable the Source is, why not yield to the creative current and discover the never-ending, rich kaleidoscope of interrelationships that awaits us?